Tiscali Security: Instant Messenger safety tips

There's no cure-all for all IM hazards, but vigilance, common sense and a few basic safety tips can keep your family safe and connected, says Anne Collier, editor, executive director and founder of NetFamilyNews. Here are her recommendations:

1. Block unwanted or unknown senders
Adjust your IM settings so that only those on your Friends list can IM you. For example, in Yahoo! Messenger, in the main menu, click on Friends. Choose Edit Ignore List and then select the option: Ignore anyone not on my friends list. Or if you get suspicious or annoying IMs, you can block specific users using the same feature. In AIM, from the main menu you can select My Account Settings, click Privacy and then set the Contact Mode to Allow only users on my Buddy List.

2. Don't give out personal information
In general, make sure not to post your IM screen name online. It's also a good idea for your family to choose names that don't include personal details like "Harpers@21CourtDrive" or "DidcotGirl." Many IM programs allow you to create profiles, too. For extra privacy protection, your family should skip this option, or just don't include identifying information or photos.

3. Never reply to strangers
If you haven't changed your settings to only get IMs from people on your Friends list -- or you are using a public computer at a library or school -- strangers can IM you. Whether an IM is a pornographic advertisement or an IM from someone who seems friendly or like an old friend, the rule is the same: Don't reply. Train your kids to turn off your IM program if this happens, and to tell you or another adult immediately if they receive a scary or disturbing message or image.

Get help protecting your kids online, especially when using Instant Messenger

4. Don't click unsolicited links or attachments
Even if a web link appears to be from a friend, it could have been sent by a worm or other malicious program trying to infect your computer. So unless you just asked your friend to IM you a link to her favorite recipe site, for example, don't click any unsolicited links sent via IM. Also, avoid opening files attached to an IM as viruses can spread this way, too.

5. Don't meet online friends offline
Sometimes your kids will meet a friend elsewhere on the Internet, such as within an online community site. Then they might give out their IM screen name to have a private conversation. This is bad news and is often how predators find kids. So let your kids know that they should never give out their IM screen name to people they -- and you -- don't know personally. And they should never agree to meet someone they met online at an offline location. Unfortunately, the "13-year-old girl who also loves football," could really be a predator.

6. Monitor your kids
Set some house rules for how to use IM appropriately (like no bullying others or using bad language). Sure, kids want their privacy but IM, like your telephone, is a resource that most parents don't want to be abused. So get to know the screen names of your kids' friends. Put your computer in an area of your home which enables you to see if your children are having inappropriate conversations with people you don't know or if they are being harassed.

Also, watch out for trouble signs, such as if your daughter closes message windows quickly or switches screens when you walk in the room. Try to keep an eye out for suspect acronyms, such as POS (parent over shoulder). It's a good idea to allow younger kids to IM only under direct supervision.

Even though IM programs allow you to use webcams to chat face-to-face, this is a major safety issue when it comes to kids. It's simple: Never let kids use webcams without supervision.

Tiscali Child Protection from Crisp monitors IM conversations

7. Talk to your kids
Finally, let your kids know all the risks and steps they can take to IM safely. And keep the conversation going. Kids who talk openly about what they do while online are more likely to follow common-sense Internet safety precautions, according to experts. "Our job is to protect and educate first, and then trust that they'll make their own decisions online," Collier says. "You've got to talk to your kids to do that."

Get help protecting your kids online, especially when using Instant Messenger